LAST UPDATE, NOV. 12, 2004: In this latest (and likely last) installment, Dr. Mojo gets extremely religious (and anti-Catholic) with me. Best quote: “My word is my bond.” I know you’re only as good as your word, Mojo. I know… New stuff’s at the end. Last four e-mails. As always, mine are the e-mails in bold.

UPDATE, OCT. 12, 2004: My good friend, Dr. Sanchest Mojo, auditor general of a bank in Africa, may finally have sensed something awry. Regardless, I’ve added my last two e-mails to him at the end of this publishing of our correspondence. I still anxiously await his reply.

A few weeks ago, I received a mysterious e-mail from the “Auditor General of a Bank in Africa” asking me for help in completing a financial transaction. Doubting his sincerity, I embarked on a concerted campaign of mockery, in order to determine how exactly the scam works and to see whether these people have a sense of humor. In short, it doesn’t and they don’t.

So, here are about a dozen e-mails, over the course of which one Dr. Sanchest Mojo has kept pursuing me as a mark — despite the fact that I have repeatedly made it clear that I am not, shall we say, serious.

From: mjdr@email.ro
To: rsager@gmail.com
Subject: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Dear,

We want to transfer to overseas ($ 147,000.000.00 USD)one hundred and forty seven million United States Dollars) from a Bank in Africa, I want to ask you to quietly look for a reliable and honest person who will be capable and fit to provide either an existing bank account or to set up a new Bank a/c immediately to receive this money, even an empty a/c can serve to receive this money, as long as you will remain honest to me till the end for this important business trusting in you and believing in God that you will never let me down either now or in future.

I am Dr sanchest Mojo the Auditor General of a bank in Africa, during the course of our auditing I discovered a floating fund in an account opened in the bank in 1990 and since 1993 nobody has operated on this account again, after going through some old files in the records I discovered that the owner of the account died without a [heir] hence the money is floating and if I do not remit this money out urgently it will be forfeited for nothing. The owner of this account is Mr Phillip Morris a foreigner and a sailor, and he died, since 1993.And no other person knows about this account or anything concerning it, the account has no other beneficiary and my investigation proved to me as well that Phillip Morris until his death was the manager Morris & Morris Coy.(pty). SA.

We will start the first transfer with forty seven million[$47,000.000] upon successful transaction without any disappoint from your side, we shall re-apply for the payment of the remaining rest amount to your account.

The amount involved is (USD 147M) one hundred and forty seven million United States Dollars, only I want to first transfer $47,000.000 million United States Dollars from this money into a safe foreigners account abroad before the rest, but I don’t know any foreigner, I am only contacting you as a foreigner because this money can not be approved to a local person here, without valid international foreign passport, but can only be approved to any foreigner with valid international passport or drivers license and foreign a/c because the money is in us dollars and the former owner of the a/c Mr. Phillip Morris is a foreigner too, [and the money can only be approved into a foreign a/c.

However, we will sign a binding agreement, to bind us together I got your contact address from the Girl who operates computer, I am revealing this to you with believe in God that you will never let me down in this business, you are the first and the only person that I am contacting for this business, so please reply urgently so that I will inform you the next step to take urgently. Send also your private telephone and fax number including the full details of the account to be used for the deposit.

I want us to meet face to face to build confidence and to sign a binding agreement that will bind us together before transferring the money to any account of your choice where the fund will be safe. Before we fly to your country for withdrawal, sharing and investments.

I need your full co-operation to make this work fine. Because the management is ready to approve this payment to any foreigner who has correct information of this account, which I will give to you, upon your positive response and once I am convinced that you are capable and will meet up with instruction of a key bank official who is deeply involved with me in this business.

I need your strong assurance that you will never, never let me down.

With my influence and the position of the bank official we can transfer this money to any foreigner’s reliable account which you can provide with assurance that this money will be intact pending our physical arrival in your country for sharing. The bank official will destroy all documents of transaction immediately we receive this money leaving no trace to any place and to build confidence you can come immediately to discuss with me face to face after which I will make this remittance in your presence and three of us will fly to your country at least two days ahead of the money going into the account.

I will apply for annual leave to get visa immediately I hear from you that you are ready to act and receive this fund in your account. I will use my position and influence to obtain all legal approvals for onward transfer of this money to your account with appropriate clearance from the relevant ministries and foreign exchange departments.

At the conclusion of this business, you will be given 35% of the total amount, 60% will be for me, while 5% will be for expenses both parties might have incurred during the process of transferring.

I look forward to your earliest reply through this email or use my alternative email address drmojo@lovetrain.com

Your Sincerely,

DR SANCHEST MOJO

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Your e-mail address is drmojo@lovetrain.com?

wtf?

This come on strikes me as more sexual than financial. Might turn potential scamees off.

Rewrite!

From: drmojo@lovetrain.com
To: rsager@gmail.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Dear Sager, Roger,

Do not bother or worry about the website I used in contacting you. it was only in turn of finding an appropriate and safer website that can be of absolute safety and reliant that i preferred using lovetrain.com but if you need any of my other website addresses you can equally contact me using drm_sanchest@mail.az.

I am really serious about my proposal to you and I believe that we can pull this fund transfer through if there is absolute trust and sincerity between us. Please reply soon without further delay so that we can start off the process of transfer.

Yours

Dr Sanchest Mojo

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Okay, Dr. Mojo, you magnificent bastard!

Let’s transfer some money!

“Show me the money! Show me the money! I love black peo-ple!”
– Anonymous

From: drmojo@lovetrain.com
To: rsager@gmail.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Dear Roger

I received your mail, Considering your positive responses and in my anticipation of a strong and solid cooperation from your side in this business, in fact I am very much interested to know whether you will be capable to do this business with me in full confidence trusting that you will never let me down in future, ok

1) if you are really serious and have the facilities for effective communications, ability to set up a new A/C under short notice ,even an empty A/C without any money in it provided that the A/C can receive money is still ok.

2) you must have a valid international passport or traveling documents then, contact me with the following This business will be completed within Seven days from the date of the receipt of your A/C details and subsequent approvals from the Foreign Exchange control division.

After the processing of all Foreign Payment documents, and when the money is ready to be paid into your A/C, after the final Approval in your favour by the bank you will be required to come in person or go to Foreign Payment Office to sign the Foreign Payment vouchers preceding telegraphic TT to your A/C or you can appoint a Lawyer here to represent and sign on your behalf under special arrangement. At the Foreign Payment Office you will be required to fill the payment Order chart specifying schedule of payments to beneficiaries A/C.

However it is my intention to be with you at least2-3days ahead of the money going into your A/C then we will sign the binding agreement, after your bank must have been satisfied with the original documents which I will bring along with me to your country to show your bank or it’s correspondence bank that the money is legal.

You should know that this opportunity can hardly come my way again in life so I have planned everything very well with an insider in the bank so be rest assured that everything will work out fine.

The original operator of the A/C is a foreigner and this money can only be approved into a foreign beneficiaries A/C only, frankly speaking from the bottom of my heart my fear now is the security of this money in your custody once transferred into your A/C because I don’t know you before nor your capability and facilities to handle this large amount.

what is your age and profession?

I really want to know more of you and I will want you to keep it very confidential at all times and also to be maintaining constant communications with me knowing that this business should take precedence over any other business for the mean time.

Now I need the A/C information and your private telex no as a need may arise either to call you in the day or night as occasion warrants.

Finally you have to be following instructions which I will be getting from the ?OUR? insider? in the bank who is the main Key to the success of this business. Pls respond without much questions until we see face to face.

It’s urgent you reply with the needed information so that I can brief you regarding the foreign payment procedures, because you will be required to come and sign the final fund release order here or at the Foreign Payment Office attached to the Embassy in Holland, London os Spain

Yours

DR SANCHEST MOJO

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Dr. Mojo,

Thank you for your quick response. I cannot wait to be shown the money.

I, however, have a few concerns.

You write: “it is my intention to be with you at least 2-3days ahead of the money going into your A/C.”

Does this mean you expect to have sexual intercourse with me? I’m not saying no to this out of hand, since I’m not sure if Sanchest is a male or female name. I hope it’s not too sexist of me to assume, however, that someone with the important job of “Auditor General of a bank in Africa” is a man. Anyway, we’ll need to discuss the “being with” issue a bit more later on.

Also, you ask me, “what is your age and profession?” but then also ask me to “Pls respond without much questions.” How are we supposed to have “strong and solid” cooperation if dialogue only flows one way?

I feel like this relationship is a bit one-sided sometimes.

But I’ll go first — and then I want to hear more about YOU, partner!

I’m 63 and work in advertising. I’m retiring in two years, and really do need this money very badly. My dog has cancer and my wife died two months ago, leaving me alone with the cancery dog. Stupid, expensive cancery dog. My pension is basically non-existent, and I’d be eating cat food even now if not for my savings account, which contains about $50,000.

That’s probably the account we should use for the transfer. The A/C number is 011-948-366. It’s a Chase Bank account.

My phone # is: 202-324-3000.

When do we meet?

Roger

From: drmojo@lovetrain.com
To: rsager@gmail.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Dear Roger,
I have started to process the transfer of the fund to your account as I have forwarded your account information to the ministry of finance.

The bank management requested that you should provide the following documents before the fund will be released to your account as the rightful and the legal beneficiary of the fund from the deceased.

[1] A certificate medical death certificate of the deceased.

[2] Letter of administration which serves as a WILL made in your name by the court of law since the deceased died without a WILL.

In line to the requirement of the bank management. I am already working for the requirements and have concluded discussions with the medical professor at the Teaching hospital S.A and the lawyer. The medical professor will issue us the medical report and death certificate of the deceased holder of the a/c, and the lawyer will do all the legal procedures on your behalf and forward all documents to the bank for the bank to issue transfer approvals in your favor as beneficiary.

The medical professor have already issued us medical report and death certificate of late Mr Philip Moriss and I have collected the draft copy of the affidavit of support from the lawyer, he will tomorrow go to the high court to swear the affidavit in your name, after which he will apply to the probate registry for the letter of administration to be issued in your name.

I will pay the lawyer and the medical professor, and will also spend huge amounts of money in the ministry to get all approvals and will also be sending to you all documents as I am getting them from the appropriate authorities.

When all approvals are ready in your name as beneficiary, you will be required to come here in South Africa OR you can go to the foreign payment office attached to the embassy in Holland or London to sign the final fund release order form and to pay the 0.1% stamp duty charge to the ministry of justice for the original letter of administration to be issued you together with the international fund clearance certificate to show to your bank that the money going into your a/c is clean, genuine and free from drug/terrorism or money laundering.

I will be sending to you the medical death certificate of Mr, Philip Moriss and copy of the letter of administration as soon as it is ready in your name. The letter of administration serves as a WILL since the deceased died without a written or oral WILL which you are going to take along with you to our foreign offshore payment office for the signing. Contact your travel agency to be making arrangement regarding your visit for the signing of the final fund release order form so that money will start going into you’re a/c without further delay.

Yours truly,
Dr Sanchest Mojo

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

I’m on it like stink on a monkey.

From: drmojo@lovetrain.com
To: rsager@gmail.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Dear Roger Sager,

Are you really serious about this transaction because i would’nt want to waste my time and resources on someone that seems not to be progressive and reasonable.

Try and be reasonable so that we can move this transaction forward. carefully read through what i last sent to you and give me positive answer to it. i hope you will understand.

Dr Sanchest Mojo

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

I am totally serious. I could not be more serious.

I have done all that you have asked.

I am so, so, so, so serious.

wink, wink…

Mrs. Sanchest Mojo

From: drmojo@lovetrain.com
To: rsager@gmail.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Dear ,
How are you, The bank is asking for $3,500.You should send this money so that we can pay and get the documents for the transfer.

Best Regards
Sanchest

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Hold on… Now you want money from me? I’m on a very fixed income here. How can I know if I can trust you???

I mean, I know you’re a doctor, and you have an e-mail account, but — well, you could say the same for my uncle Larry, and I wouldn’t lend HIM a $20, unless it was for his heart medicine. And even then, I’d go pick up the medicine and make sure he didn’t bet the money on the ponies.

I’m just not sure.

ciao

***

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: CAN WE DO THIS TOGETHER?

Dearest Dr. Mojo,

I hope I did not offend you in our last correspondence. I am willing to undertake this transaction, I just need more assurance that you are trustworthy.

My friend tells me (I’m sorry I told a friend, but I had to tell someone, I was so excited!) that this could be a scam. Apparently, there are unscrupulous people in certain countries (ahem, NIGERIA!) who bilk people out of thousands of dollars. I know you’re more trustworthy than that, being from Africa, as opposed to Nigeria.

Please read the following Web page for information on those nefarious types: http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/scams/nigeria.asp

I’ve already reported a few of them to the U.S. Treasury Department (don’t worry, though, I wrote them a letter specifically letting them know that you are legitimate). They wrote back, and seemed interested in talking to you, if you’re interested.

Maybe they want to help with your transaction. Though I’d hope you’d still give me at least a finders fee.

Anyways, write back…
Oodles of toodles,
Ramone

From: drmojo@lovetrain.com
To: rsager@gmail.com
Subject: ASSURANCE

Dear Roger,

I am in receipt of all the e-mails you forwarded to me which are clear, well understood and I make the following comments:

Firstly, I appreciate all your efforts so far and you should also realized that scam has been in existence for more than 100 years now and i am not disputing thefact that Africans do not scam, but if there is no fake you can never get the orginal.

It all started during military regime when a lot of Government officials routed money here, got them transferred into so many banks abroad and when democracy came to existence majority where arrested and detained and majority of them went on exile.

During the military regime a lot of them succeeded in moving out money here with the help of top bank officials and the illiterate once failed.

Since that time most of them that are on exile looking for ways to get their funds out that is why my government introduced a strict banking policy to make sure they stop them including the fraudulent activities here.

Secondly and of most important, I scrutinized your mail and I came to the conclusion that you don t have in you the necessary trust required in a business of this magnitude otherwise how on earth will you even imagine scam to talk of saying it out, it is due to lack of trust that you were unable to send the amount called for, I am amazed by you utterance, how can you insinuate scam when i gave you all my word and seriously making arrangement to come over to America once this money is transferred out of here into your account. You owe me an urgent apology otherwise.

There is something I want you to understand about life, you don t have to judge from your friends experience, maybe he got ripped of because he wasn’t destined to be rich through what ever business he did,after all my friend also got ripped off early last year by an American close to $70,000.00 and I can’t because of my friends experience, to start judging the whole Americans or fold my hands and allow Gods gift pass me by. Scam is all over the world, even in Vatican City is where the pope lives, but it is the place they have the highest mafia in the world that perpetrates the highest crime in the world. If there is no fake in this world, you can’t never get the original and the only way i can prove my honesty to you is when this money enters into your account even if i have to go extra mails.

If you are a Christian, you should be aware that when the coming of Jesus Christ was announced by John the Baptist, Harold the king said that nothing good will ever come out of Jerusalem but after everything, our lord Jesus Christ was born there and still people never believed in him.

All I know and all I can ever vouch for is my own innocence, the only thing that can differentiate we human beings from animals is our word, which I give to you on the success of this transaction. My word is my bond.

The most important thing you should be concerned about is your security, which is 100%, assured and with my arrangement. Send the money so i can obtain this certificate and prove my honesty to you rather than telling the whole America about something that is supposed to be confidential. With the way you are going around telling everybody about this, i might change my mind one day because i would not want in a situation when i arrive your country for investments, people will start looking at me some how.

Yours truly,

Dr Sanchest Mojo

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: ASSURANCE

Sanchest, baby, you’re the best.

You say: “I scrutinized your mail and I came to the conclusion that you don t have in you the necessary trust required in a business of this magnitude otherwise how on earth will you even imagine scam to talk of saying it out”

Yet, still, you seem willing to give me a second chance. I am scam-falling-for putty in your hands. I want to be a part of this great, grand scam called love!

And I hate the Pope, too! He’s no better than Tony Soprano, if you think about it really hard — well, not too hard.

Anyway, are you saying that if I send the money I can still get in on your Nigerian e-mail scam, scammer?

If so, just tell me where to wire the money. You’ve asked for $3,500 to pay off some guy at the bank (who doesn’t exist), but you haven’t told me where to send the check or money order or Marlboro dollars or whatever.

Where do I send the money, Mojinator??? (I know this is a scam and that you are lying to me so that I will send you money, which you will steal, because you are a scammer.)

Just give me an address or account number, and the $3,500 will be on
its way to you!

Also, why have you never accepted by invitation to set up a g-mail account??? There’s so much storage!!! And you can search through your (scam) mail on there!!!

Let’s get it on!!!

Rebecca

From: drmojo@lovetrain.com
To: rsager@gmail.com
Subject: RE: ASSURANCE

Dear roger

it is now evident to you that all i have been talling you is real and true.like this proposal you got,i am not saying that it is fake or not but all i know is that large sums of fund is being transgered out of Africa annually despite the existence of widespread scam.

try and pay the required fees so as for the appropiate ministry to issue us the necessary documents for the completion of this transaction.i hope to hear from you.

Dr mojo

From: rsager@gmail.com
To: drmojo@lovetrain.com
Subject: RE: ASSURANCE

Just give me an address to send the money to, Mojinatrix!!!

I’m fully willing to be scammed by your scam of scams. My wallet is open to your scammy ways. Scam me, you big scammer!

Where do I send the cash? (Cash is OK, right?)

Peace in the Middle East,
Long live Arafat,

Robert “Mrs. Mojo” Sager

ps: I trust you.

Will I ever hear from the doctor again? Will he ever tell me WHERE to send the money? Only Mojo knows…